A film

Film

By: Atticus Monet, Nettie Luella, & Iris Schiele

Words by Andrea Gibson

Always something

"The Fallen"

 "Three hundred faces forgotten. She starts the search."

"lead the great opposition in a series of crisis talks."

"Blood Pressure"
"A decade of blood treatment found that the heart cares for risk"

"Here we have the attempt to observe the invisible."

                                                                                    .

I still carry both names

The color of my eyes,

darkest brown. Almost black, 

but color changes in the sun.  

You might know my nose, but not as well as I do.

Crooked and inexact. I wouldn't have it any other way.

My mouth knows straight lines best, but I promise it

 curls up at the edges often.

My chin frames the edges of my mouth 

along with the perimeter of my lips.

My neck holds up my heavy thinking. 

My hair is the result of one thought. 

I let my hair do what it wants. 

Iris Schiele
Izzy Scherer

9 pieces

               

        Broke my heart into 9 pieces,

First piece slipped between the crack in the bed and the wall.

The color red started rising to the ceiling,
so I painted everything the darkest blue and
ended up with violet, I didn't mind it. 

2nd broke off when I saw your body shivering from the cold.

I couldn't control the weather, so I gave you my birthday money instead

then told you to love yourself.

The third piece sank to the bottom of the river.

I told you twice again,
"I dont know how to swim."
"I don't know how to swim."

You crossed to the other side,
so I learned how to save myself.

Fourth lay shinning on the street corner where fast lights

are attracted only to its beauty and regret piles up
from refusing to put on their seat belts. 

Now it's mixed in with broken glass while
unnoticed victims drive past.

The fifth one can only be heard through these guitar strings..

Can you hear it? Beating over bullet holes,

this one still beats.

6th is tied to the bottom of a balloon string that I let go of 

on your birthday. Heavier than a paperweight,

this piece had to make it to you.
You had just turned 72.

The 7th tagged along to the end of the word, "goodbye."
It still burns my throat to say it, always taking too long
to finally explain myself that when I had finally caught
the words you couldn't hear my voice anymore.

8th disappeared after you disappeared.
It still looks for you, but I stopped 2 years ago.

9th, but not last, this one happened so fast.
I stood speechless as I watched it pass.
No reactions or running after because
I knew this piece was too sharp to pull back.

Ramble on

This road is sustained.
Perhaps never ending.
I promised I'd be back to comprehend
the distance, but never let it take up space in present time.
Refuse to expect an exact return date.
Just recite to me of all I have to come home to.
My shoes will wear thin
And my feet will perfect persistence.
Each single step carrying me closer to you.
Each acceptance giving me pieces from myself as a whole.
Each distance with a different aquantance.
Each "hope to see you again" convincing to be inevitable.
Finding more stars to add to the sky,
I started at 7 to hitchike to heaven.

How to escape time

Listen
Focusing on the chords in the song you consistently replay to know why A minor leads to G, which resolves to C and how your ears knew the resolving tone would be missed if it were never played at the end. Giving you a taste of how to say goodbye.


Kiss
Absent when lips touching and never knowing for how long. Simple yet strong. Eyes closer. Revealing why they were once so sad and convincing each mind to stare longer. Sometimes faster because your late for your calling time and your mind was trying to predict the future.


Walk 
Each step closer to imagined conclusion, obstacles along the way expected from both sides proving that you can welcome the difficulties. Sometimes missing your exit while the stars watch till you see that the next one provides more.


Paint
Protecting each stroke as it connects to the center idea. Proving your point with a color pallet resembling the sky from your favorite weather. Mixing colors. Realizing that they depend on each other and provide compliments when side by side.


Breathe
Not just because you have to. Each inhale bringing new ideas, and every exhale letting go of the sting  that arrived yesterday and reappeared today. Cold breaths of needed oxygen reminding you that you won't always need warm and accepting ones. Losing your breath from collapsing to your back, flat on the floor you crave for one more breath even if in the lowest amount.


Aspire 
Striving to never waste time or let it collect between my skin and bones as I choose to disregard the appearance. Never accepting disuse. Knowing of the possibilities waiting for me from escaping time, I will never go back.

Anxiety is one synonym of fear, doubt is another

What is unstated between two people and fear of the ocean

because often fear of the unknown. 

For what gets lost in translation even when the words are so beautiful. 

Fear of losing myself from losing sleep.

Gradual fear of never enough, and exhibiting too much.

Inadequate fear of humble minds not understanding 

my entangled study. 

I fear the universe,

mostly because fear of the unknown. 

I fear for these words, 

not ever knowing if I am using them directly or incorrectly,

I fear that I am too sensitive for this world. 

Individually, my bones solely know of 1 place to call home.

I fear routine.

Ordinary routine and fear of time, only leading 

to fear the uncharted distant future. 

Objective?

Never had it rained so concentrated.

Each drop convincing the earth,

you knew it was needed.

Watering flowers on your grave,

they needed it too.

From each point of the lake

that pulled your vision

the color was dark silver.

Not shimmering,

but accepting.

Never had I felt so alive.

Knowing why because

I came to secure that

one single anonymous day I will die.

Explicit

The world was sick.

The car got crowded but no one would sit next to him.

He's not sick, he got alcohol poisoning.

Something she'd been trying to deny.

Bitting down on the base of her lip she knew these bricks were too personal,

never showing how heavy they equal to be.

Especially the fractured ones.

Officials denied the existence.

On a tuesday in the summer she tried to paint.

Instead she follows the firetruck.

Trying to set fire to those bricks.

Turning pale, these bricks show more color than you and I.

Those bricks are tied to roses that hang upside down

reminding you of names you miss.

She told these bricks to be patient,

they split anyways.

Only burning the tips of my fingers on those bricks while extracting you from the fire.

Another Story

Love told me her parents decided to live in separate houses,
but she knew the exact term and never feared to say it out loud.

Love fell asleep unfamiliar and stayed sleeping beauty until
dad decided that time was closing and love was too far from home.

Love just turned 7 years in September and your love ended after 8.

Love danced onto a ship and fell into the pacific ocean, not drowning
but swimming to the shoreline.

Love fell through the roof and she still didn't recognize it.

Love unbalanced mind over body.
Dizzy and misunderstanding 70%

She told love to walk backwards.
With cold feet and wide eyes she stopped still, enclosed
in her mind forgetting where she left her heart.

Love had a checkerboard heart.
He never learned how to play,
giving up was always the first option.

Love seemed too personal keeping all aspects out of reach, but your
arms knew there was always room to grow.

Love twisted the truth.
She could no longer bend
backwards to notice so ignoring
the fact became painless.

She informed love she had no secrets,
but love continued to reveal all of his own
in colors that resembled rainbows and shapes
corresponding with open windows that she never
came around to escape out of.

Love was not always unknown deliveries of flowers,
but long books and anomalous vocabulary in tall grass fields.

Love was see-through glass fire places.
Never walking through to the other side
and too busy to run the perimeter so she
makes a bed by the fires edge.

Love knew that this weather would last forever
so she wouldn't cry as much.

Love told her the mountains collected clouds.

She knew loves story couldn't estimate happily ever afters,
but love still shows her.
Love always illustrates for her,
it was all worth it.

More Sound

Precious time only investing in music.

Crowds of songs and never regretting 

getting lost. 

Hiding behind the sounds was only small talk,

no listening ears heard the fears of him who 

swallowed his own to show you. 

The look on your face is delicate. 

I know I'm only seeing you from the

crowd and no word seems to describe

feelings when covered in music.

Influenced by eye contact from beings in

the crowd who see other familiar eyes, but 

admiring from so far away.  

I'll never know your middle name.

Only unfolding the title of the opening song 

you desired to play, but thats all I needed. 

Being

Always staring at that one spot on the wall

where the light shines from the moon through

the window it reminds me that everything has

its own purpose.

Waking up late again. 

Cant hear my alarm in the morning

when thinking too much the night before.

Thinking too much about wishing 

that most times I didn't think at all.

Sensitive to the sound of loud tears.

Aware of touch with good intentions

and pushing away the opposite but

always without delay

regretting ever letting 

them close enough.

Empathizing because your pain is quiet.

Your pain is real.

and I see how it affects your speech

Haven't yet figured out why I let my nervous habits take over

allowing nothing but nothing but nothing but nothing

Still repeated theory

possible to break. 

Over analyzing until the object becomes

unclear or translucent and never tangible.

Disappointment from your own self.

Blind because you are sure it is from everyone around

and the only words you needed to trust.

"It'll all work out."

Fast interruptions when you feel

that tingle just below your cheek bone

and I cant count how many feelings drag behind music.

trying to compose chord progressions that bring those

same feelings all good and bad,

more in between.

Familiar sounds and not knowing the name for certain smells.

Never informed or aware of the names for certain feelings.

Accidents too big to push out of your mind until 

tripping on your own feet forces you to see the illusion. 

Windfalls at random 

sometimes when needed the most.

Words with elegant definitions

You never knew you could fall in love with words

until the day you couldn't think of a word perfect

enough to describe why.

Saying things you don't mean and 

finding yourself always apologizing 

wondering if it is still sincere. 

Discovering what really brought happiness.

So you create time only for passion that just wants

to be practiced so that it can be heard for souls who

found time to listen.

Enormous change.

Sometimes in little amounts

small enough to go unnoticed until informed

buy someone else before you could catch

up to see around the corner.

Falling.

Falling hard that it hurts more

on the inside than out

and loosing sleep figuring 

out how you missed by so far.

Late to the important.

Early for the uncertain, unnecessary.

Mistakes that only create 

understanding and anger 

at the same time but perfect 

is confusing with no meaning

or story to tell.

Trying.

Sometimes giving up.

Extensive hours and burning work.

It all must prove something. 

It all must prove something.

It all must prove something

It all must prove somethin

It all must prove somethi

It all must prove someth

It all must prove somet

It all must prove some

It all must prove som

It all must prove so

It all must prove s

It all must prove 

It all must prov

It all must pro

It all must pr

It all must p

It all must 

It all mus

It all mu

It all m

It all

It al

It a 

It 

I

Random Verity

 Pain is measured in units of "dols."

The instrument used to measure

 pain is a "dolorimeter."

Each time you see

a full moon you always

see the same side. 

    

The winter of 1932 was so cold

 that Niagara Falls froze

completely solid.

A Kitchen faucet would need

to be turned on all the way for

at least 45 years to equal the

amount of blood pumped by

the human heart in an average lifetime. 

   Mark twain was born on

November 30, 1835, a day when

 Halley's Comet cam into view.

When he died in 1910,

Halley's Comet was in view again.

All radios in North Korea

have been rigged so listeners

can only receive a North Korean

Government station.

Plato theorized that reasoning originated

 from the brain, but that passion

originated from the heart.

An average American will spend 

about 6 months during his/her

lifetime waiting at a red light. 

12% of people dream in black and white.

The air quality in Mumbai is so bad,

it is equivalent to smoking 2 packs of 

cigarettes a day. 

An average person will spend 25 years asleep.

The very first bomb dropped

by the allies on Berlin during

World War II killed the only

elephant in the Berlin zoo.

Prolonged lack of sleep can cause

 irregular jumping hear beats called

Premature Ventricular Contractions.

Rough Estimate

Questioned a box of crayons just to find the color of your eyes

wishing for a paint by number to ensure I had the right color.

So give me some time to mix 3 and 2 or maybe 1 and 1 

because just one color being the exact

 match doesn't make sense to me. 

Or maybe its that I've never seen

 eyes such as yours before,

 I'm sorry for staring.

Your eyes. 

Periwinkle?

Or maybe pale blue yonder.

Almost as if I can see through them

but still to shy to let me look a little longer.  

Moderate use of pink, yellow, purple, orange or black.

I only need them for slight shading or reflection of the sun. 

Tell me about the story of your favorite sweater.

 How it anxiously brings more study to your eyes. 

And I'm still trying to figure out

 how that small sliver of opposite 

color came to be

 but I regard it. 

Oh to find the right color of your eyes when wearing that sweater.

                                           

Incognito

Let me see your eyes 

if your hat covers 

your voice too. 

Outset

I remember cracks in the ceiling with stories 

of broken glass dishes that created

 wishes from the man in the boat 

who couldn't see colors

and never left the sea.

I remember feeling stuck in stopped time only to realize

 you had left hours ago and I was still staring at the under side 

of the roof that I only climbed on once to show you

 fear shouldn't come in heights and falling only hurts when

 your body is tense and your thoughts blameful.

I remember trying to sink my teeth into ideas that sink ships 

and did I ever thank you for stopping me from drowning? 

I remember your laugh, addictive then poison 

because cancer stopped you from finishing.

All I heard were vibrant sounds too close together

and you always wondering if I ever listened. 

I remember deep breaths

as deep as oceans with slight interruptions of storm warnings,

fears too big for too small palms and no time for pointless interactions 

           with strangers whose eyes only see imperfections. 

I remember stomach aches  

still not as bad as heart aches

 but you already knew that.

So I cover my ears

  because too sensitive was the sound,

 they told me to leave the rooms. 

All of them. 

And I will never forget one too quiet Saturday morning

with news still haunting,

words imperfect,

and only good intentions

but left with mixed emotions

confusion from both sides of the equation,

and no time to explain the riddle.

Wont Waste Words

  I'll paint the words.
Then surrounded by my
Composition there will be a moment of lucidity.
-(Stop)-
LUCIDITY: The ability to see things clearly.

And if we don't agree,
what does that mean?

If pulling passion from my pocket heart
makes you feel SOMETHING then I will keep giving you
SOMETHING to dream about.

In my sharp suit and hat?
Maybe.
It is not my clothes that assign me.
You'll smile because of
who I am and not for what I look like.

You'll say I'm uncertain or fickle.
Mom tells me to make up my mind.
Maybe its not the name that matters
but the content that counts.
-(Stop)-
I confide in no one but Iris Schiele.