live poem

pinpoints

10 20
right now i am unsure, i think of the moon + motivation
i am believing
i am careful

1 00
right now i am aching, i want to accomplish
i am hoping
i smile

3 00
right now i am confused, what do i know
i am able
i am cold
i want to give

4 30
right now i am laughing, i laugh with people in pain, they hide it so well
i am fearful
i am living
am i living

5 50
right now i am breathing, i think about sometimes taking it for granted
i am thinking of someone
i am waiting
i want to help

6 00
right now i am seeing, i keep solving math problems, they tell me its good practice
i am aware
i am looking for something
i am tired
i keep looking

7 30
right now i am writing, i feel so happy
i am excited
i can't figure out why
i am grateful

8 00
right now i am picturing, i design the future, i think to remain in the present
i am wishing you well
i am anxious

9 14
right now i am

Short story

Roses. The cemetery was quiet. I wanted you to have them. A pure bouquet. How innocently they tribute each other. I am inspired. Dont hold your words back. I must act on every impression.

They are desirable
You can
You will see

the day of the crash

I want to be tangled in the wreckage. 

Body + bones wrapped throughout branches.

Soul focused on following the ashes. 

I desire for these eyes to accept superior, inferior, everything in between + all beyond the edges endlessly. 

I don't want to just walk past. 

I am not afraid of last. 

The dancing past

I followed your lead. We parade to the very ends of an unfamiliar lake. Surrounded by holy water our words disappear to sink so deeply. Every word rooted under ground holding together a perfect body of water that our own bodies ached to last forever in. Everyone else somnolent. You + I still holding fast, firm grasp. We wrapped ourselves around each others words believing we could occupy the exactness endlessly. I studied your concernment. The silence always comfortable. Your touch shaking with lack of confidence I wished away your worries. Your embrace consoling I confided in every instance. Treading through pitch-dark waters we were drenched in our own fears. Humble reflections of golden stars we stare at our scares to revoke determination. I felt the universe all the way to the core of my bones. Feet first head last + under so fast. I wanted to keep still + become weightless. All eyes anxious. Waiting for you to decide to surface to the top + slowly track back to the edges. Head above water. Goodnight + see you soon. We eliminate tragic goodbyes. We own these subtle memories. Accepting all triggers of present moments that escort you back into these deserted spaces. These seconds dream of surviving. I dream of these seconds. Waking to find my body aching from the dancing past I decide to let them run back.

bring back

two old become one new

and love

champions and fear and love

no and blue and love

right and yes and love

voice and cold and love

distance i know and love

sharp and aware and love

goodnight goodbye and love

Treasures

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8W7aTCwYqM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ge4PE6s1C0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWYp4zmiV8I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDU5Y4eznWU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecGp7iOYY2I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H3BzKhSHgY

Besides the point

 I depended on the wind to take my tired thinking.
I realized my mind never knew of real breathing.

A film

Film

By: Atticus Monet, Nettie Luella, & Iris Schiele

Words by Andrea Gibson

Always something

"The Fallen"

 "Three hundred faces forgotten. She starts the search."

"lead the great opposition in a series of crisis talks."

"Blood Pressure"
"A decade of blood treatment found that the heart cares for risk"

"Here we have the attempt to observe the invisible."

                                                                                    .

I still carry both names

The color of my eyes,

darkest brown. Almost black, 

but color changes in the sun.  

You might know my nose, but not as well as I do.

Crooked and inexact. I wouldn't have it any other way.

My mouth knows straight lines best, but I promise it

 curls up at the edges often.

My chin frames the edges of my mouth 

along with the perimeter of my lips.

My neck holds up my heavy thinking. 

My hair is the result of one thought. 

I let my hair do what it wants. 

Iris Schiele
Izzy Scherer

9 pieces

               

        Broke my heart into 9 pieces,

First piece slipped between the crack in the bed and the wall.

The color red started rising to the ceiling,
so I painted everything the darkest blue and
ended up with violet, I didn't mind it. 

2nd broke off when I saw your body shivering from the cold.

I couldn't control the weather, so I gave you my birthday money instead

then told you to love yourself.

The third piece sank to the bottom of the river.

I told you twice again,
"I dont know how to swim."
"I don't know how to swim."

You crossed to the other side,
so I learned how to save myself.

Fourth lay shinning on the street corner where fast lights

are attracted only to its beauty and regret piles up
from refusing to put on their seat belts. 

Now it's mixed in with broken glass while
unnoticed victims drive past.

The fifth one can only be heard through these guitar strings..

Can you hear it? Beating over bullet holes,

this one still beats.

6th is tied to the bottom of a balloon string that I let go of 

on your birthday. Heavier than a paperweight,

this piece had to make it to you.
You had just turned 72.

The 7th tagged along to the end of the word, "goodbye."
It still burns my throat to say it, always taking too long
to finally explain myself that when I had finally caught
the words you couldn't hear my voice anymore.

8th disappeared after you disappeared.
It still looks for you, but I stopped 2 years ago.

9th, but not last, this one happened so fast.
I stood speechless as I watched it pass.
No reactions or running after because
I knew this piece was too sharp to pull back.

Ramble on

This road is sustained.
Perhaps never ending.
I promised I'd be back to comprehend
the distance, but never let it take up space in present time.
Refuse to expect an exact return date.
Just recite to me of all I have to come home to.
My shoes will wear thin
And my feet will perfect persistence.
Each single step carrying me closer to you.
Each acceptance giving me pieces from myself as a whole.
Each distance with a different aquantance.
Each "hope to see you again" convincing to be inevitable.
Finding more stars to add to the sky,
I started at 7 to hitchike to heaven.

How to escape time

Listen
Focusing on the chords in the song you consistently replay to know why A minor leads to G, which resolves to C and how your ears knew the resolving tone would be missed if it were never played at the end. Giving you a taste of how to say goodbye.


Kiss
Absent when lips touching and never knowing for how long. Simple yet strong. Eyes closer. Revealing why they were once so sad and convincing each mind to stare longer. Sometimes faster because your late for your calling time and your mind was trying to predict the future.


Walk 
Each step closer to imagined conclusion, obstacles along the way expected from both sides proving that you can welcome the difficulties. Sometimes missing your exit while the stars watch till you see that the next one provides more.


Paint
Protecting each stroke as it connects to the center idea. Proving your point with a color pallet resembling the sky from your favorite weather. Mixing colors. Realizing that they depend on each other and provide compliments when side by side.


Breathe
Not just because you have to. Each inhale bringing new ideas, and every exhale letting go of the sting  that arrived yesterday and reappeared today. Cold breaths of needed oxygen reminding you that you won't always need warm and accepting ones. Losing your breath from collapsing to your back, flat on the floor you crave for one more breath even if in the lowest amount.


Aspire 
Striving to never waste time or let it collect between my skin and bones as I choose to disregard the appearance. Never accepting disuse. Knowing of the possibilities waiting for me from escaping time, I will never go back.

Anxiety is one synonym of fear, doubt is another

What is unstated between two people and fear of the ocean

because often fear of the unknown. 

For what gets lost in translation even when the words are so beautiful. 

Fear of losing myself from losing sleep.

Gradual fear of never enough, and exhibiting too much.

Inadequate fear of humble minds not understanding 

my entangled study. 

I fear the universe,

mostly because fear of the unknown. 

I fear for these words, 

not ever knowing if I am using them directly or incorrectly,

I fear that I am too sensitive for this world. 

Individually, my bones solely know of 1 place to call home.

I fear routine.

Ordinary routine and fear of time, only leading 

to fear the uncharted distant future. 

Objective?

Never had it rained so concentrated.

Each drop convincing the earth,

you knew it was needed.

Watering flowers on your grave,

they needed it too.

From each point of the lake

that pulled your vision

the color was dark silver.

Not shimmering,

but accepting.

Never had I felt so alive.

Knowing why because

I came to secure that

one single anonymous day I will die.

Explicit

The world was sick.

The car got crowded but no one would sit next to him.

He's not sick, he got alcohol poisoning.

Something she'd been trying to deny.

Bitting down on the base of her lip she knew these bricks were too personal,

never showing how heavy they equal to be.

Especially the fractured ones.

Officials denied the existence.

On a tuesday in the summer she tried to paint.

Instead she follows the firetruck.

Trying to set fire to those bricks.

Turning pale, these bricks show more color than you and I.

Those bricks are tied to roses that hang upside down

reminding you of names you miss.

She told these bricks to be patient,

they split anyways.

Only burning the tips of my fingers on those bricks while extracting you from the fire.

Another Story

Love told me her parents decided to live in separate houses,
but she knew the exact term and never feared to say it out loud.

Love fell asleep unfamiliar and stayed sleeping beauty until
dad decided that time was closing and love was too far from home.

Love just turned 7 years in September and your love ended after 8.

Love danced onto a ship and fell into the pacific ocean, not drowning
but swimming to the shoreline.

Love fell through the roof and she still didn't recognize it.

Love unbalanced mind over body.
Dizzy and misunderstanding 70%

She told love to walk backwards.
With cold feet and wide eyes she stopped still, enclosed
in her mind forgetting where she left her heart.

Love had a checkerboard heart.
He never learned how to play,
giving up was always the first option.

Love seemed too personal keeping all aspects out of reach, but your
arms knew there was always room to grow.

Love twisted the truth.
She could no longer bend
backwards to notice so ignoring
the fact became painless.

She informed love she had no secrets,
but love continued to reveal all of his own
in colors that resembled rainbows and shapes
corresponding with open windows that she never
came around to escape out of.

Love was not always unknown deliveries of flowers,
but long books and anomalous vocabulary in tall grass fields.

Love was see-through glass fire places.
Never walking through to the other side
and too busy to run the perimeter so she
makes a bed by the fires edge.

Love knew that this weather would last forever
so she wouldn't cry as much.

Love told her the mountains collected clouds.

She knew loves story couldn't estimate happily ever afters,
but love still shows her.
Love always illustrates for her,
it was all worth it.

More Sound

Precious time only investing in music.

Crowds of songs and never regretting 

getting lost. 

Hiding behind the sounds was only small talk,

no listening ears heard the fears of him who 

swallowed his own to show you. 

The look on your face is delicate. 

I know I'm only seeing you from the

crowd and no word seems to describe

feelings when covered in music.

Influenced by eye contact from beings in

the crowd who see other familiar eyes, but 

admiring from so far away.  

I'll never know your middle name.

Only unfolding the title of the opening song 

you desired to play, but thats all I needed.